Today we're going to speak with the star of the new book, Morris the Mankiest Monster! I'm just walking up to his house, through the mud, and... fwooie! What is that SMELL??! ... Oh, hello, Morris!
Sarah: Morris, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but is your house made of... um... dung?
Morris: Poo! Urrhgh hahahaha...
That's just lovely. So, what was it like working with a famous guy like Giles? Did he come visit you so he would know what to put in the book?
Urk, snurrfff wooo hee hee hee!
...Ew, what is that COMING OUT OF YOUR NOSE?!!!
NO!!! Don't wipe it there! Oh, noooooooo.
Keekeekeee wurfffff hunnkf!!!
I totally didn't want to see that. So, Morris, is it true, do you really floss your teeth with fresh slugs?
Er, those ones don't even look fresh to me... I think you still have one stuck in your teeth. Yeah, right there, on the left.
What? No, that's all right, you don't need to thank me! WHAT? You want to give me a KISS?! Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!
Well, that ended my interview with Morris. I'm sorry, the only word he said that I could understand was 'poo', so really, that was probably the worst interview ever.
I don't think you should buy the book, it might rub off on you or something. Go buy a book about princesses or soap or something nice, so you'll never have to find out just how disgusting Morris really is.